Homesick!

I was excited about Patrick's new job, our new house and our new adventure in a new town. It didn't last that long. I've never been this sad about moving before. I'm still super happy about Patrick's job, and it's been totally wonderful how many things we've gotten to do with my sister already, with her so close by, but for awhile, I couldn't stop thinking about how much I loved living in College Station. I literally thought about it every day. It's known as a great place to raise a family for a reason, and I had been expecting that that would be where I would be raising mine. I've never been very good at making close friends, but I had a lot of friends there! I think I have been going through the stages of grief over leaving it during these past few months we've been here. It was especially hard when Timmy was struggling with his behavior at school. At the time I was sure he would have been fine, if we had been able to stay where we were where he was doing so well. I know there's plenty of opportunities to find everything I could ever want in Austin, but I don't want to drive half an hour to it all that often, and I'm really intimidated by the traffic, parking, crowds. I sometimes find myself wishing that we will move back there as soon as we can, that Patrick will apply there every year. My depression is getting better though. I forget about where I'd rather be most of the time now, and I'm trying to open my eyes back up to what's in front of me here. I'm going to try to remember the negatives there, our small house, Patrick not being able to get a better job and apparently being miserable, the cockroaches (!), and the struggle to get by with our invariably empty bank account.  I really need to try to get out and meet people again. Since Lexa's been in preschool, it's been hard for me to get myself out to the mommy social that is story time here, when it's just Will and I, and Will doesn't care yet. Patrick's planning us a trip to visit friends back in College Station later this week, and I'm very excited about it. At the same time, I'm a little bit worried about it making me sad again. I'm more excited though, I think.